After Goodbye
by Porthos1013
Summary: What do you say after “Goodbye?” Episode tag for The Long Goodbye. Here there be spoilers! McWeir
1. Chapter 1

Author: Porthos

Summary: What do you say after "Goodbye?" Episode tag for The Long Goodbye. Here there be spoilers! McWeir

Author's notes: My take on "The Long Goodbye." Rodney's reaction to the kiss just broke my heart! I think my favorite scientist finally figured out in that moment something that us McWeir shippers have known for a long time. ;) Begins _right_ after the end of the episode.

oOo

As Caldwell left with a smirk on his face, Elizabeth sank lower into her infirmary bed, resisting the urge to just cover her head with the blanket. She couldn't remember feeling more utterly mortified in her life, and she silently willed the ground to just open up and swallow her whole.

She hazarded a glance at Colonel Sheppard, and he didn't look like he was faring much better. His face had turned positively scarlet, and he was making a face like he'd just tasted the foulest food imaginable.

Inexplicably, Elizabeth felt the corners of her mouth turn upwards. It seemed to trigger a ripple effect, and soon Elizabeth couldn't keep the laughter in, no matter how hard she tried. As she snorted into her hand, she realized just how absurd this situation was. At first John looked offended by her laughter, like she'd just said something particularly nasty about his favorite jumper. She just started laughing harder at that, not even bothering to hide her guffaws now, and soon his chuckles were joining hers. Elizabeth felt a great deal of the tension between them melt away.

They didn't say much to each other after that, other than the occasional pleasantries or idle chit chat. Elizabeth was fine with that. As far as she was concerned, they were on the same page regarding what happened, and talking about it was unnecessary. But by the second day, Elizabeth was feeling anxious again, like there was something buzzing around in the back of her mind. Something was off, she knew it, she just couldn't put her finger on it…

Surprisingly, John was the one who actually pinpointed the problem. It was nearing the end of their second day in the infirmary, and they were playing a friendly game of poker using the M&Ms Zelenka had snuck into the infirmary as chips. John was staring at his cards, and Elizabeth assumed he was quietly contemplating his next bet. When he spoke, however, she was surprised by his words. "I wonder why McKay hasn't been by to see us."

Elizabeth was taken aback. Surely, Rodney had visited them both sometime during the last two days, hadn't he? A quick mental tally of their visitors confirmed that no, Rodney had in fact never been by to see them. Elizabeth frowned, confused by Rodney's absence. "Maybe he's just busy," she defended. "Zelenka hasn't been by very often either."

Sheppard's face was unreadable. "Yeah, maybe," he conceded. "Okay, I'll see your three red and raise you five green and a blue." He tossed his handful of colorful candy onto the tray between them, poker face firmly in place.

Elizabeth raised her eyebrow at the daring bet. She called his bluff, and soon she was once again engrossed in the ever growing pile of chocolate in front of her.

oOo

About a week later, Elizabeth was sitting in her office, cataloguing the latest mission report from Sheppard's team. She didn't like the vague whispers the team had been hearing on P67-F30 about the Genii building some sort of new weapon. Realizing that they still needed more intelligence, she sighed and put the report in a file labeled "Follow up."

What had really bothered her the most about the report, however, was the fact that Rodney wasn't in it. He had avoided the mission, claiming he was on the verge of some new breakthrough regarding the drones acquired from the replica Atlantis, and his expertise was much more valuable here than on a mission to a planet where the most advanced technology they possessed was a toaster. At least, that's what she had assumed he would have told her. Radek had put it a bit more delicately than that when he delivered McKay's message.

Over the last week, Elizabeth had gotten used to seeing a blue blur disappear into various doorways as she turned a corner. At first she had been willing to give him time, to let him come to her when he was ready to confront whatever it was he had been avoiding. She didn't imagine it would be easy for him to face her after she shot him and threatened to kill nearly everyone in Atlantis, even if she wasn't responsible for her own actions. As much as she wanted to be patient with Rodney, the lengths he had gone to avoid her were getting a little ridiculous, and she was becoming frustrated. He couldn't keep sending Zelenka to staff meetings in his stead. Eventually, he would have to talk to her, and to John.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock on her door. She smiled as the fuzzy haired scientist stepped into her office. "Radek, what can I do for you?"

Zelenka pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "Actually, I just came by to give you the latest news on progress with the drones. McKay says he has isolated some of the subroutines regarding energy consumption and guided flight, so we are nearly ready to develop our own prototype drone."

"Thank you Radek. Let me know when Rodney is ready to begin testing his prototype." The scientist nodded his head, causing his glasses to slide down his nose again. Just as he was about to leave, Elizabeth asked, "Radek, is there some reason that Rodney can't deliver his own updates?" She didn't mean it to come out as disappointed and hurt as it sounded.

Zelenka slowly shook his head. "Not that I can say." Elizabeth lowered her head, feeling more wounded than that simple statement warranted. "But," Zelenka added tentatively, "perhaps, you could stop by the lab this afternoon, to check on the progress for yourself, yes?" With an innocent grin, he added, "Although I will be very busy, and may forget to tell McKay that you are coming."

Elizabeth felt herself smile. "You know, that actually sounds like a good idea."

oOo

Shortly after lunch, Elizabeth found herself walking down the corridor towards Rodney's lab. She felt herself growing more nervous with each step, and was so absorbed in trying to relax that she didn't hear the voices until she was just outside of his lab.

"—easy for you to say, Sheppard!"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, please! Look at yourself, then look at me, and then try to tell me you still have _no clue_ what I'm talking about!"

"Listen, I thought we covered this…I don't care about—"

"Elizabeth!" Rodney had spied her near the open door to his lab, and visibly paled at the sight of her. Elizabeth was beginning to have second thoughts at his reaction.

"Elizabeth!" John greeted cheerily, recovering from his initial confusion at Rodney's sudden change in demeanor. "Glad you stopped by. Wow, look at the time, I've got to run, a colonel's duty is never done, and all that." Turning to McKay, he said, "So, we okay?"

"What?" Rodney looked for all the world like a deer in the headlights. "Oh, yeah, sure," he answered absently.

"Cool." John clapped his hands together enthusiastically. "Well, I'm off." When he passed Elizabeth, he whispered, "Good luck," then disappeared with a wink.

And Elizabeth was left alone, staring at Rodney, and no clue what to say.

oOo

Well, let me know what you think. I know it was short, but part 2 is coming soon. Also, I don't really like the title, so let me know if you have any suggestions. 


	2. Chapter 2

Elizabeth stood there, frozen, and with each passing second her panic-stricken mind increased her distress. The silence between them lengthened, until Elizabeth's fidgeting mimicked Rodney's. Finally, unable to stand the tension any longer, she blurted out the first thing that popped into her head. "Why have you been avoiding me?" she asked, without preamble.

She didn't think it was possible, but Rodney actually paled further. "What? I haven't…I've been busy." She knew Rodney was a terrible bluffer, but surely he didn't think he was fooling anybody with that line, did he?

Elizabeth found her anxiety was giving way to anger. She narrowed her eyes at him and spoke in a voice that clearly said she didn't believe a word of it. "Busy." She drew the word out.

Rodney's eyes widened fractionally, and his voice rose with a touch of panic. "Yes, busy. I can't be everywhere at once. You can't expect me to drop everything for every little bureaucratic meeting, can you? My time is more valuable than that."

Elizabeth felt her temper flare. "More…valuable…" She began pacing the length of the room, and spoke in a tone she hoped sounded reasonable. "Of course it is. You're too busy saving the galaxy. Who has time for department meetings, eating our meals together, visiting a friend in the infirmary—"

Rodney let out a snort of frustration, and mumbled the word, "Friend," to himself.

"Yes, Rodney, I'm your friend." Elizabeth stood firm. "I realize that after the events that Phebus put you through, it might be difficult to still see me that way, but I assure you that the way I feel about you hasn't changed."

"Well that's the problem, isn't it?" Rodney spat. At Elizabeth's confused glare, he said, "Nevermind."

He had turned away from her and began walking away, but Elizabeth placed a hand on his arm and spun him around to face her. "Wait, what do you mean?"

Another long suffering look, and Rodney seemed to give in. "Why did you choose Sheppard to play host to Thalen?"

Elizabeth was surprised by the question. "What? I didn't choose John, Phebus—"

"Yes, fine, Phebus, you, whatever. The point is, she wanted to kill the guy, right? So why choose the one guy in Atlantis who would be the most difficult to kill? She could have chosen anyone in Atlantis, and it would have been an easier kill. Why Sheppard?"

Elizabeth stifled a gasp. "You think I had something to do with it? That I subconsciously wanted to kill John?"

"Not kill," Rodney shook his head. "But I do think you may have subconsciously influenced her in…other ways."

Elizabeth blinked. "What?"

"You kissed him, 'Lizabeth." Rodney made a face like he'd just been shot in the gut.

"You think I—" Elizabeth breathed. He had thought…but he couldn't be further from the truth. "Rodney, trust me, it's not what you're thinking." She licked her lips nervously, and held her hands up in front of her to stop the inevitable barrage of questions and comments he was about to spew forth. "Please, Rodney, just let me finish. I swore I would never admit this to anyone, but you asked, and I trust you, so…" she took a deep breath. "Yes, I think I did help Phebus choose John." Rodney made a pained noise in the back of his throat. "But not for the reasons you think. At first she wanted to choose you."

Rodney just looked at her, shock evident on his face. "She thought that you'd make an easy target, although I suppose I know better. I couldn't let her do that to you. I couldn't let you die, especially if I was the one—" She felt a lump form in her throat, and she couldn't force the words past it. "So I…I sort of convinced her to choose John instead. I knew he was most likely to stay alive the longest, so I convinced her that he would be more of a…" she struggled to say the words, "…a more satisfying kill."

Rodney's eyes were looking everywhere but at her, so she touched the side of his face, and his eyes locked with hers. In them she saw a mixture of shock and awe.

"And all this time I thought you just wanted to kiss Sheppard." Elizabeth shook her head, because it was the only thing she could do at that moment. "I hated that kiss," he said suddenly.

"Why?" Elizabeth asked, her eyes hopeful.

"It sort of disturbed me. Made me realize…what I've been denying for a very long time."

"That you're in love with me?"

Rodney's eyes widened in astonishment. "How did you...How long have you known?"

Elizabeth smiled. "Just now."

Rodney blinked. "Oh." He blinked again, then his voice dropped to just above a whisper. "And do you…" He trailed off, making vague gestures with his hands. Elizabeth nodded, and he smiled. "Oh. Good."

Rodney couldn't take his eyes off her. After a long moment, Elizabeth said, "Rodney?"

"What?" he asked dreamily. When she simply raised her eyebrows in answer, he seemed to snap out of it. "Oh, right. Of course." He took her face in his hands and pressed his soft lips to hers. It certainly wasn't a tentative kiss, and Elizabeth responded with a passion and fervor of her own. She opened her mouth in a moan and felt Rodney's tongue slide past her lips. He tasted bittersweet, like coffee and chocolate. When he pulled back, he rested his forehead against hers. "So, better than Sheppard?" Elizabeth simply smiled and mumbled in the affirmative. He pulled back to look at her face, his thumbs brushing lightly across her cheekbones. "I was so sure that that kiss between you and Sheppard would be the end of me…of us. I thought it was 'goodbye.'"

Elizabeth wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer. "If this is goodbye," she said, a mischievous grin spreading across her face, "then let's make it a long goodbye." She smiled as she kissed him again, and his arms wrapped around her waist, enveloping her in his warmth. She decided that this was the place she wanted to be forever.

oOo

Okay, I put off all my work and finished it. I just felt like this had to be written, because I was thinking during the entire episode, "Okay, this is supposed to be a Sheppard/Weir episode, but she didn't really want to kiss the guy, she wanted to kill him! How is that shippy?" I'm not looking forward to some of the e-mails I'll get with this one, but I seriously thought that TLG was far more McWeir oriented than Shweir. Thus, this fic. ;P


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